Wednesday, 28 November 2012

What if swans..?

What if swans,
Their necks of stretching, swivelling periscopes,
Were well-intentioned,
For a second,
More Lisa Kudrow
Than tetchy Brachiosaurus,
And, forgetting that they had to threaten,
Extended you a kindly glance?

What if swans' mouths,
With rows of tiny gemstone teeth,
Glistening in the sun,
Spoke words of peace,
Without a hiss,
And thanked you for their daily bread?

What if swans' wings,
Beating rhythms across the wind,
Were really wrestlers' arms,
In their mock triumphant show,
Tangled under rising feathers,
Deep below?

What if thirsty swans,
Their orange bills ready and willing,
Though perfectly poised
With downy bottoms in the air,
Suddenly felt despair,
And went
From upended half-submerged corks
To toppling white Titanics,
Sucked and sunken under there?

What if swans were just like us,
Looking out for love,
Trying hard not to curse,
A weekend visit to the pub,
Tired, black-rimmed eyes
From nine to five,
Commuting in their fine white suits,
You'd see them on the bus...

Posted for Poetry Jam.


  1. oh dang...really well done your ponderings at the swans....and then equating them to was getting pretty dark you know...the titanic verse....i would ride the bus too...smiles.

  2. Oh, David. You paint the underbelly of beauty with coarse abrasion. Somehow like grit beneath neatly manicured nails.

    Sometimes I feel the world might drown in what-ifs...or perhaps wake up.

  3. Incredible ... not enough superlatives to do your poem justice.

  4. Amazingly written ... I loved it !!!

  5. This was fun. I will admit that I haven't done much contemplating of swans...other than admiring their beauty; but it is fun to think about swans in their white suits on the bus heading to work! An ejoyable read!

  6. Really well done! I am familiar with the attitude of most wild swans--you have them well portrayed here in a negative space sort of way. Brachiosaurus is an excellent comparison!

  7. Interesting, David. Usually, swans are thought of as personifying beauty and perfection. But here, you have humbled them, comparing them to humans, and the everyday mundanity and imperfection of human life. Well done :)

  8. it's amazing where what if? can take you, but I especially like where you went with it. Amazing and yet believable. Bravo!

  9. That last stanza got me...nice twist on the what if of swans ~

    Indeed I have seen the herd all day long ~

    Good one ~

  10. truly a magically inventive peace... they go from creatures of wonder and awe to mundane and boring - I much prefer my swans in the pond a few miles away :) Two of them, always majestically circling the area.

  11. ..a nice departure with swans.. so enamored we are of their beauty, but there's always another side to the coin, a reality check perhaps..I really enjoy your writing..


Thanks for leaving a comment. Have a great day :)

With the sun..

Wearing wrap-around seduction. A blindfold angel in black. Mirrors to glimpse a fine troubled prince? Dressed-up pathway to the soul ...