a tree for birds to shelter
stems from the smallest seed
***
and bread to stuff the starving
swells steadily with yeast
***
there's gold for any digger
who cares to probe the field
***
the bargain of the century:
the pearl that seals the deal.
The Gospels are full of stories and I found four of them told in quick succession. I tried to put in them in a short two line form of seven syllables (mostly), followed by six. The second line had to be shorter than the first to fit in with the idea of a kingdom growing from something small.
Posted on dverse: Poetics. An Evening of Short Verse
Loved the pattern that blended perfectly with your words !!!
ReplyDeleteRight on Message! It may be a micro technically but it speaks volumes.
ReplyDeleteAn impressive form; and a worthwhile message!
ReplyDeletenice...love the creativity you used with the fonts...and what a riddle as well...nice exploration of the scripture...available for any who probe the field...smiles..
ReplyDeleteFantastic! Love the message and your creative, fun and enjoyable form. :-)
ReplyDeleteI don't think I've ever seen this form before. Great work!!
ReplyDeleteI love the way this poem looks on the page, and love the opening lines, especially.
ReplyDeletevery cool take on that story..one of my favs in the bible as it says so much about priorities and passion
ReplyDeletevery nicely done. Quick hitting anecdotes from the Gospel, telling a story, offering short pieces to reflect upon. You used the short verse extremely well here. Thanks
ReplyDeletepared down to the essential message - lovely K
ReplyDeleteI love these pearls and nuggets of wisdom ~ Thanks for sharing them ~
ReplyDeleteLove them all. Perfectly said. The first one is my favorite (if I have to choose)
ReplyDeleteGold or pearls? Tough choice.
ReplyDeleteLike little proverbs..and a pearl to seal the deal makes any day
ReplyDeleteThere is gold in your words, excellent
ReplyDeleteLearned from the master - and there's never been a better teacher or teller of stories. Jesus was certainly fond of less-is-more - many contemporary preachers, myself included, could do to learn more from his methods.
ReplyDeleteVery creative - excellent.
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
Beautiful, thought provoking and creative
ReplyDeleteWord :) Excellente presentation. Kool voice. Anointed words.
ReplyDelete...what a clever idea to do that... and the whole act reads like a parable to me... like the message conveyed on the first couplet mentioning birds on a tree... greart experimental vibe here... excellent... smiles...
ReplyDeleteI love the thought that you put into the formatting here. Very creative.
ReplyDeletethe Christians writings are packed with stories as are the HIndu, the Taoist, the Confucian and so much more. You've rhymed together 4 familiar parables nicely here -- with a new message of sorts. Superbly done -- though I must say, the small font was torture on my tiny eyeballs! But with effort, I found the pearls.
ReplyDelete:-)
Form has a lot to do with the success of a poem, but this stands alone on what you built ;_)
ReplyDeletenice one! with a good msg..loved the pattern!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful David, truth packaged so.
ReplyDeleteDavid, these are so beautiful, each a delight in its own right. It's amazing how little stanzas can say so much :-)
ReplyDelete