Tuesday, 19 June 2012

Twist of Wisdom

tangled by her grief
father-left girl screams me down
mistakes me for him




Prompted by:
http://haiku-heights.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/149-wisdom.html
and Imperfect Prose

16 comments:

  1. this is soo painful indeed twist of wisdom :)

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  2. you say so much here, and leave me feeling her loss. gripping and powerful. thank you so much for linking. e.

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  3. intense moment there man...the mistaking of you for him...that might break my heart...

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  4. tangled by her grief -- a strong image

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  5. WOW! Rarely read an haiku that follows the form's intention and tells a complete tale in a unique and riveting way. Masterful, this.

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  6. Thanks for all these positive remarks guys. I've not tried haiku too much and it's a big encouragement to hear your responses.

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  7. yeah, the first line itself grabs our attention, looking forward to read more of your haiku!

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  8. So nice that you tried haiku! Strong emotion you show here. What you wrote is in perfect 5-7-5 form. This is called a Senryu, when you write about emotions. It's a Haiku when inspired by nature, and there is a reference to nature in it. I like both forms. Great job! :)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Loredana and thanks for clarifying what kind of poem this is!

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  9. Replies
    1. I guess it takes a fellow teacher to spot the truth in this! You're right. It's a lack of wisdom on her part, but I felt the twist of wisdom, in that, recognising the reason behind her behaviour, didn't bring me any comfort.

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  10. I am glad you are trying this form ~ This is a good attempt, specially the first line ~

    Great to see you at HH ~

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  11. Wow, that's quite an image.

    Richard

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