Thursday, 31 January 2013

Ghazal: Goldmine


Receding harshness of this winter wind,
And wav'ring heart from yours I find, my love.

I speak the anxious moments...gone from here,
And search again to touch your mind, my love.

Alive to taste the beauty of this grace,
Three strands that keep us in this bind, my love.

Will winter haunt with summer's coming light,
If strands pulled tightly can't unwind my love?

Vows yet unbroken golden rings confess,
Gold on the surface must be mined, my love

With ev'ry passing second comes my sight,
For your eyes only have been kind, my love.

You grow my love and we are further wound,
beloved by you proves love is blind, my love.




Note:
Over at dverse poets Samuel Peralta introduced the ghazal poem. It was a new one to me. Samuel writes "Ghazals are beautiful poems, originating in Arabic verse from the sixth century, written traditionally about poetically physical or spiritual love, with a melancholic air of separation or longing." Visit the link if you want to know more about this very interesting type of poem.

My ghazal is based on a sentence from the book of Ecclesiastes which says "A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." I've related it to a marriage relationship and I've included the Hebrew meaning of my name, David, (which is beloved) in the final line. (Read Samuel's notes if you want to know why!) Finally, I must confess I've "mined" some of the lines from a song I'd written a while back. If you're interested here it is:



18 comments:

  1. excellent use of the form....really cool you based in on that line of scripture as well and used your name in hebrew...ha...the couplet that really jumped out at me...

    Will winter haunt with summer's coming light,
    If strands pulled tightly can't unwind my love?

    nice, i like that...

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  2. I didn't realize it came from a Biblical quote, but it did have a very classical feel to it. Well-written.

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  3. Lovely refrain of my love and excellent inclusion of the quote ~

    My favorites are the last two couplets ~

    Grace

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  4. My love works perfect as the refrain... this is so romantic!

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  5. Very beautiful and filled with love. Interesting to read about the Ecclesiastics connection! Nicely (and warmly) written to form.

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  6. Very creative inspiration culled from a scripture quote...I like that. You did a good job of pulling in different aspects of the marital relationship...thoroughly enjoyed it.

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  7. I like the feel of this, the strength of the love portrayed from start to finish. Beautiful.
    Gene

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  8. Lovely, the representation of marital love. My favorite lines are the last two.

    You grow my love and we are further wound,
    beloved by you proves love is blind, my love.

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  9. The graceful unwinding of your poem from the Biblical passage underpins the classic atmosphere of the ghazal - and what a wonderful use of your name in the final couplet!

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  10. "Will winter haunt with summer's coming light,
    If strands pulled tightly can't unwind my love?" I loved this line ... beautifully woven !!!

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  11. This is so graceful - beautifully wrought words and feelings

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  12. Loved learning about the "strands" and "cord"...this is very neatly written and with love all over the place ;)

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  13. Interesting Hebrew scripture meaning behind this. I thought the three stands was the design of your wedding ring. Ecclesiastes was so cool. Lots theologian resent that text -- and rightfully so, it is great!

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  14. I really enjoyed the way you have woven the Hebrew Scriptures into your poem, from the Ecclesiastes quote to the meaning of your name. I was considering "my love" as a refrain in my own response to Sam's prompt, but at the moment I'm really struggling. Perhaps I'm just not a true romantic.

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  15. OK, this was beautiful... I like how you brought elements of nature into your passion

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  16. i couldnt fit my name in but also used love and seasons as a theme.
    enjoyed your peom =)

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  17. stunning. each stanza is as beautiful as the next, but the question that sits there in the middle is perfect.

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  18. Amazing use of the form in such a beautiful write. I really enjoyed your music too! :-)

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